Wednesday, October 15, 2008

And it's about a school. Oh, the irony.

This one makes my brain hurt.

From the online version of The Evening Times, October 15, 2008:

School board okays land sale

The land the Patriot water tank that overshadows the football field has a new owner.

Marion Mayor Frank Fogleman asked to purchase the land the water tank, which was constructed on in 1979. The school board agreed to sale land to the city in 1976 when funding for the tank was being put together...

Marian Smith, Assistant Superintendent for Curriculum and Instruction, spoke on several issues...


A few things:


  • That first sentence. What? I get that the land has a new owner. But we also have a dropped-in phrase from one of those sports books (like Wally Loomis Scores a Touchdown) boys read in middle school: "the Patriot water tank that overshadows the football field..." That is rather poetic. You get the mascot and the long shadow of the water tank falling across the field in the golden light of a late afternoon in October. A+ for creative writing, C- (and a note to clarify) for the construction of the sentence.
  • "The school board agreed to sale land to the city..." They can agree to sell, or agree to the sale, but they can't to both in the same sentence.
  • "Marian Smith...spoke on several issues..." Where did she do this? From the headline and the content of the rest of the article, I can deduce that it was at a school board meeting. Where did this happen? When? Why isn't it clearly stated that all of this was talked about at a school board meeting? Do they, hopefully, offer basic journalism classes at this school?


And a little bit further on:

First year teachers are required to have a mentor that are matched with new teachers based on the same subject and interest areas.


One mentor for many new teachers? I don't think so, but hell, anything is possible.

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